Archive for British

Lilly Allen, nearly naked…greaaat…

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 8, 2008 by attemptedmustache

So , what happened to the Lily Allen we all used to know, and not like?


You know, the girl I’m talking about…
The one that wrote some really annoying, sometimes terrible, sometimes decent songs, complained bitterly about her weight, and couldn’t help but get sloppy drunk by 8am and bitch fight with British substance abuse queen Amy Winehouse?

Well, it turns out the THESE days Lily is far more into getting sloppy drunk and wearing just her underwear in public. Awesome…

According to Music News:

Lilly Allen visits male friends wearing just sexy underwear and a mac. The ‘Smile’ singer—who recently split from Chemical Brothers star Ed Simons – loves the look on her pals’ faces when they see her standing outside their home in skimpy lingerie.

Lily, who was recently dropped as the face of lingerie label Agent Provocateur, said: “Agent Provocateur is good for turning up at a male friend’s house in a mac with underwear underneath.

Wow.. I’m SO glad I’m not a man, and I’m So glad I’m not one of Lily Allen’s male friends! Who does that?! I mean, good for Lily if she’s gained some form of confidence that allows her to not complain about her weight constantly like a friggin’ highschool prom queen… but going from one extreme to another and parading around town in her panties, freakin’ out her male friends, and making babies wish they were never born, is out of control!

And sorry… how do you wear a Mac? Is she talking about the computer?
I’m thinking Lily Allen might just be the British version of Flava Flav… but instead of the clock around the neck, it’s a Macbook?? Must be a British thing.

Whatever.

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The Greatest Thing To Come out Of Sheffield Since Steel Meets Justin’s Trouser snake?

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2008 by attemptedmustache

I wouldn’t have seen this collaboration a mile away, but it seems that Justin Timberlake and the Arctic Monkeys are set for some magical, musical cooperation.

And just for those who have been living in a cage for the last couple years, the Arctic Monkeys aren’t a species of fury mammal inhabiting the Arctic, and they aren’t a slew of a bearded Leo Dicaprio fans clubbing seal poachers and planting frozen mini-glaciers in the ocean either.

They’re a band from Sheffield, England!! duh! Featuring Alex Turner, Jamie Cook, Andy Nicholson and Matt Helders, these young lads rock it solid, a little bit pretentious, and with accented vocals…which I always translate as intelligence (Unless its just a thick Yank (*cough* Britney Spears *cough*) trying very hard to do a cockney accent, and failing miserably. Plonkers).

So it’s a wonder how these fine bloaks from across the pond hooked up with JT rockafeller… But bless their hearts, cuz this could turn into some thing totally brilliant and unexpected.

Although, I’m not really sure I’m ready to see the Arctic Monkeys do a synchronized dance routine in one of their videos. I’m afraid it might go a little something like this:

But what do I know, I’m just a stupid North American tosser.

Over and out.

Britney Spears got Punked!

Posted in Britney Spears, Current Events with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2008 by attemptedmustache

In a surprising turn of events, it seems that Britney Spears may not be bipolar or brain damaged after all!!! Hezzah!

Sam Lutfi has allegedly been drugging Spears, in what seems like a misguided attempt to control the pop star.

What was he giving her?!! Flinstones vitamins and Irish Oatmeal (guinea pig pellets)??

Here is the run down, according to The Superficial

“Details of the restraining order against Sam Lutmcgyver have surfaced and it paints a pretty ugly picture of what’s been going down with Britney. Lynne Spears provided most of the information in the document and it contains allegations that Sam was drugging Britney. TMZ reports:

At one point Britney “picked up a bottle of pills and read part of the label and asked us, ‘What does insomnia mean?’ Sam told her that the pills will help her stay awake.” Lynne continues, “Sam told Jackie and me that he grinds up Britney’s pills, which were on the counter and included Risperdal (an anti-psychotic drug for schizophrenia and bipolarity) and Seroquel.” The docs continue, “He told us that the doctor who is treating her now is trying to get her into a sleep-induced coma so that they could then give her drugs to heal her brain.”

After downing the pills, Sam then tried to get Britney to do shots of tequila. He also told Britney that Adnan is gay and later threatened Lynne:

Lynne claims before leaving for the drug store that night, Sam gave her drugs upstairs “to make her more light-hearted, happy, and fun.”
During a dispute later that night, Sam allegedly said, “If you try to get rid of me, she’ll be dead and I’ll piss on her grave.”
Brit said, “Can I see another psychiatrist so I can see my babies?” Sam responded, “If I told you to take 10 pills a day, you should do what I tell you to see your babies.”

First things first!! There’s a drug out there that turns people British? I don’t really like bread and potatoes, so I’d like to avoid that if at all possible.

Secondly, how the heck does Britney not know what ‘insomnia’ means? Britney, it’s the same thing you get when your herpies rash that you got from Adnan Ghalib flares up in the middle of the night, and you can’t sleep. Yeah, that was a huge tiny mistake…better blame it on the drugs.

And, some one needs to get all the graveyards in the L.A. area a restraining order against Sam Lutfi. That is pee terrorism.. if I’m not mistaken.

Either way, this is great news! Lets get old Britney back, and the sooner the better. If she gets any more British-ish, she might just have to join the Ninja Turtles… I mean, the Spice Girls. gurrrl power?