Archive for Billy Corgan

Billy Corgan Wants to Ruin Your LIfe

Posted in Celebrities, Music with tags , , , , , on March 10, 2010 by attemptedmustache

Up until yesterday I’d thought it was safe to assume Billy Corgan had done away with his singing career and had thus cryogenically frozen his body to be thawed at a time when people don’t actually like music, and are instead obsessed with arrogant, exhausting pricks that don’t know when to shut the hell up….

But, my cuckoo dreams of frozen rockstars have led me astray once again because Billy is back… and with an insane proposition, at best:

So hey, let’s just jump back in time a bit here…

Anyone remember when the Smashing Pumpkins were awesome?  Remember when Billy was the exalted, quintessential frontman of the 90s?  Remember when Billy wasn’t bald and albino, and way too high on himself? Remember when The Pumpkins didn’t make your ears feel like a bag of smashed assholes?  Think waaaaaay back? Got it!?  yah…

Now, let’s talk about that pale bald guy that just can’t keep his band together…
It’s a heart-wrenching tale, cuz for Billy Corgan, it just keeps happening again and again and again; except THIS TIME Billy is turning to YOU, oh devoted fan(s), to join his charade and mend his broken band.

Soooo, the daunting question on board is….wana be a part of a has-been rock band that will probably never amount to much more than small gigs in dark, hole-in-the-wall bars?…. well, if that’s your calling, then here’s your chance to be a steward for Billy Corgan’s moonstruck agenda!

Send your vids and demos here, if you dare: or by March 31st.

In all fairness, I don’t really think Corgan’s narcissism is to blame for the latest member of his band flying the coop.  In fact, bassist Ginger Reyes claims that.. “Although (she’s) been blessed beyond belief over the past few years through playing with the Pumpkins , (her) priority now is to keep (her) little family unit together, which includes (her) husband and baby.”

Perhaps that’s just code for “I can’t deal with this dude’s ego any more!”, BUT, who’s to say, despite maybe The Mentalist??

In truth, for ANY aspiring musician this could be a really EXCELLENT opportunity, even if it may promise to break you psychologically over an extended period of time.  MY advice?  Don’t quit your day job.