Archive for the Media Category

Obama Supported by Blackberry… how Ironic?

Posted in Media, Politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 10, 2008 by attemptedmustache

Elite business associates get your BlackBerry’s primed, cuz Barack is making a stop to to digital town, via your handheld.

According to “The Boy Genius Report”:

“You can now call your phone the BarackBerry. We started the month with the Apple iPhone supporting Microsoft Exchange functionality, and now it appears as if Research in Motion is taking another step towards the consumer market. The maker of the BlackBerry device announced that it is partnering with and his website, Dipdive, to create a mobile version for BlackBerry devices. The website, heavily geared towards Barack Obama’s presidential campaign, will “bring the artist into a direct relationship with the fan,” according to RIM co-CEO Jim Balsillie.”

But does Obama really need the support from BlackBerry and Probably not.
I mean, unless all the neo-nazi, homophobic, ‘pro life’, klansmen show up and sabotage the polls… he’s probably headed for the White House. But I guess when it comes to American Politics, one can never know.

Well Barack… welcome to digital town, please enjoy your stay.


John Stewart Can Read My Mind!

Posted in Media, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2008 by attemptedmustache

So John Stewart can TOTALLY read my mind… and this little discovery may have led me to much shock and embarrassment if all I was thinking about yesterday was beer, vodka, jalapeno and cheddar potato chips, pizza and sex… but sometimes I do think about other things from time to time.

I have to say, the Oscars would have been a total bore without John Stewart. He is the official remedy to my Oscar success. Normally I come out of every broadcast with a deeper hatred for the Academy than the year before… but this year… well this year I still hate them, but I LOVE John Stewart!! He fills me with that euphoric feeling one might get when they realize that Angelina Jolie is having MORE of Brad Pitt’s children. Hallelujah! (Seriously, I didn’t think they’d even have time to have sex, you know, with all the life saving- do-goodery bullshit, and that field hockey team of children they own at the present time–yeah, I said ‘own’).

Anyways, you’re all thinking “Quit your whining princess, and stop watching the stupid Oscars if you hate them so much”, but it’s something I really can’t turn away from. I love watching the wealthy be more wasteful than conceivably necessary. It’s like a gypsy wearing a tuxedo, while playing the accordion in a Shoppers Drug Mart… I can’t stop staring.
It’s a delicious mind puzzle really…

But John Stewart… oh John. Seriously, it was as though he and I were one person. Every time I became annoyed, miffed, offended or filled with hilarity over some seriously misguided lines, acceptance speech, or…just the super corny, offensive, ridiculous, unnecessary, egoistic skits and segments they forced the audience to endure throughout the broadcast… John was right there to fill in the blank with the MOST appropriate cynicism, sarcasm… or just a ‘look’; it really made for an entertaining evening.

As per the actual Oscars… meh.
I never really find the Academy Awards to be generally a reflection of whats good in the movie industry. I mean, even though I TOTALLY loved Juno, I really didn’t think it should have been up there in the Best of the Best categories. And I mean c’mon… as IF a movie about Teen Pregnancy could win Best Picture… are you kidding me?? Not in America my friend. Now.. a Movie about violence, drug dealing, mayhem, a hunter who stumbles upon some dead bodies, a stash of heroin and more than $2 million in cash near the Rio Grande, and some crazy lunatic who decides to kill a bunch of people… now THERE’s American family values if I ever saw them!!

I rest my case.

Kat Von D Might be Eric Cartman

Posted in Media with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2008 by attemptedmustache

Well.. who woulda thought that Kat Von D and the little fat dude on Southpark had something in common? Well… they probably don’t, but this signed photograph seems to imply otherwise.
No.. not THIS photograph!



Yep, Kat Von D might just hate the Jews, or maybe just one Jewish person in particular… or maybe just one person.. who just happens to be Jewish… it’s a friggin’ mind puzzle I’m telling you.

According to TMZ:

“Upon being fired from “Miami Ink” last year, tattoo artist Kat Von D allegedly signed a photograph addressed to her former boss, Ami James, and drew a swastika and a flaming Star of David on it. Subtle, no? “

Well Kat, that’s the kind of hate that got Mel Gibson in a whole little slew of trouble back in August 2006… you don’t want to be like Mel Gibson do you? No one does.

Actually who WOULDN’T want to be like Mel Gibson? You get to be a racist bastard and get away with it! Sounds amazing… I’m not even mad, I think Mel Gibson is a regular rogue-genius. Nomination for Nobel Peace Prize in the making… I’d say so.

Truth is people, Kat may or may not have written that statement, but either way, I personally don’t think she hates Jewish people. Not that I know her personally or anything, but this all seems kinda out of character, and pretty ignorant… I don’t think she’s that much of a mentard….
And… it REALLY doesn’t look like her writing, unless she’s a 14 year old boy. I mean she’s an artist DAMMIT! Wouldn’t her writing look a bit more like art, and lot less like the kind of chicken scratch that would appear if you wrote something with a pen that was shoved between your two biggest toes?!

What I do know for sure? People of Jewish ethnicity and/or faith are pretty used to taking the fall as the world’s greatest scapegoat.
For instance, here are some of the things they’re commonly accused of:

“The Jews killed Jesus!”

“The Jews control Hollywood!”

“The Jews caused 9/11!”

“The Jews oppress the Palestinians!”

“The Jews ran over my poodle!”

Now, lets all smarten up and realize something here for sure!
Mel Gibson did all these things! .. minus maybe 9/11. I mean he definitely killed Jesus , he definitely controls Hollywood, and he’s probably the highest grossing poodle killer on the planet…drunkie can’t drive straight! duh!

So let’s all just leave the Jews alone for a while, and start going after the REAL evils in the world.

Hmmm…. I wonder if Mel Gibson practices Scientology?

Conan O’Brien is still a Hot Piece of Ass!

Posted in Media, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 7, 2008 by attemptedmustache

Just when I was starting to think that Conan had gotten about as boring as a dried up old sandbox filled with cat poop (that might not be boring for some, I admit), he decided to spruce-up and bring the troops in for a little face lift.
No no no, not Max Weinberg, the human drumming machine… though, he is a scene stealer, that little dickens…
Instead, Conan decided to pick a very strategic feud with the very funny Stephen Colbert (the ‘t’ is silent and it stands for Truth) and John Stewart (‘t’ is not silent, stands for ‘t’) over who created Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee.

So who created Mike Huckabee you might ask? Well, I’m inclined to say his mother, Ms. Huckabee… but you can decide for yourselves:

Watch the clip!

Well, the cheap tricks and the name calling all came to a head this Monday on Late Night, I’ll say.

Conan really couldn’t have done anything more brilliant than to have revitalized his show with the two guys that are making him look like the grumpy old slow-dancing shit on the block. Way to fight for the ratings old red. I think I’m even starting to think he’s hot again.

Though, no one will be as hot as Leno… that hair… that HAIR…

But for now, I will leave you with a shot of another hottie, the President of Finland, Tarja Halonen. Roar! (Don’t worry, I didn’t know Finland had a President either, other than Miikka Kiprusoff, of course)

Should their be Etiquette to the Internet?

Posted in Culture, Media with tags , , , , , , , , on January 29, 2008 by attemptedmustache

How many times have you heard some one mention how Facebook is ruining our lives?
I’ve heard it plenty, and I’m telling you, I disagree… but I am definitely weary of the internet on some general level.
Not only have I noticed that my attention span seems shorter, but I’ve also noticed how communicating through the internet has certainly caused some significant problems in some of my real-life relationships.

Maybe its the way the medium DOES allow us all to act on impulse; maybe it has something to do with the way we can so easily misinterpret the message we are receiving, or conceal the message we’re ACTUALLY sending… whatever the cause, there is definitely a problem.

Have any of you ever gotten into a petty fight with a significant other, or a close friend, and as a punishment, childishly deleted them on Facebook, or MSN Messenger, or Gtalk? I know I have…hah… it’s one of those things you regret instantly…then what follows is that familiar, sick, cramping feeling that enters into your stomach, then all your limbs, and you curse yourself until the moment the stupid action is resolved.

Have any of you ever been more inclined to deal with serious problems through internet communication than face-to-face interaction? I certainly have… and I know it’s definitely caused it’s share of problems as well. There are definitely some people that will become seriously offended when you use email, or instant messaging to blanket statements or mediate between yourself and others.

So here is my predicament: The internet seems to allow us to act in certain ways, say certain things we might not normally say, sarcastically take a stab at people that annoy us while including a 🙂 that somehow makes that okay; we can delete our friends, delete the messages they post on our wall, we can casually not respond to emails, we can forward incriminating photos of our friends or post them on Facebook… the list of indiscretions goes on and on.
Now I don’t think the Internet is an evil by any means, but I think the way that we use it can definitely contribute to the implications of others that suggest that it IS a serious evil in the world.
Sometimes I wish that there wasn’t this different set of prescribed rules to the Internet that allowed us to interact with each other in such a casual, terse, inattentive, sometimes hurtful way. I wish that I wasn’t guilty of this myself.

Perhaps the way we use the internet needs to be reconsidered, perhaps there needs to be more of a human type of etiquette to internet communication… but would that take away all the unique pleasure that the internet presently affords us?
I couldn’t tell you… all I know is that the amount of time I spend every day staring into computer screens, televisions screens, phone screens, door screens, etc, really might indicate that either I need to get out more, or that these sorts of things are entirely taking over my life.

To be continued…

Britney Spears Wants to Steal Your Child

Posted in Britney Spears, Media with tags , , , , , on January 26, 2008 by attemptedmustache

The latest in the unraveling saga that is Britney Spears’ life ought to strike fear in the heart of every parent living in the general Los Angeles area.
According to the paparazzo Brit-Brit was spotted cruising around a Beverly Hills Elementary School, smoking and talking like a crazy British person. (Not shocking?).

Despite claiming that she was there to pick up her lawyer’s children, it seems clear to me that she was purely trolling around for lost kids to steal.

Since it seems like her days of blasting out babies like she’s the human equivalent of a canon in the battle of Normandy have ceased (albeit, probably temporarily), Brit must be looking to update her already insane hillbilly status to ‘insane hillbilly child kidnapper’.
Or at least it seems that way.
Now, all this is very hard for me to admit, being the die-hard Britney fan that I am…
But perhaps she DIDN’T go to the school looking for kids to steal, perhaps her mind has become so very deranged that she thought she was lost in some magical fairy land, and all the kids were giant Starbucks frappuccinos and king-size Marlboro cigarrettes… Totally plausible.

I just hope some one reels the girl in before she does any more damage to herself, or any one in her path.

Now… let’s take a moment to remember the good old days:

Visually impaired cantelope, or Blind Melon?

Posted in Media, Music, Society, Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 23, 2008 by attemptedmustache

So, you guys might have heard, Heath Ledger is dead. Yeah, I don’t wanna focus on that, but I am, albeit temporarily, reminded of that sick sort of feeling I get whenever a famous celebrity passes away; that tragic queasy feeling I get in my stomach is all too familiar.
It’s a faint reminder of how I felt when Brandon Lee died, Kurt Cobain, Shannon Hoon…

Shannon Hoon…
If some of you didn’t realize how amazing Blind Melon was/is, it’s time to start learning.
I had the fortunate luck of being trapped in my car on the road to Lethbridge this past weekend. I was taking in the usual sights, sounds, smells… ever notice how Southern Alberta smells like two things: either the fun-loving combination of skunks and tires, or the unjustifiable stench of a 1000 menstruating cows.
This drive in particular was one of the latter trips, and the menstruating cow had infiltrated itself into every single, occupiable vent my rapidly aging 1996 Intrepid had to offer. But this was the least of my worries; I’d left my usual toppling stack of car CDs back at my apartment in Lethbridge.
Fine… so I turned on the radio, and tuned in…not so bad, you might think…
On this particular day the infuriating radio personality ‘Fraiser’, on the once decent, but more recently shitty Calgary radio station X92.9 seemed to feel it was his outspoken, ignorant, misogynist duty to openly voice his unjustified, hateful opinions on women’s hockey. He then proceeded to justify his ridiculous rant by not backing up any of his outrageous statements toward the ‘other’ sex’s position in a sporting arena which he blatantly seemed to deem unfit for a woman. Furthermore, in the typical fashion of an uneducated ignoramus, he continued to spout his valueless opinions, and even had the audacity to claim that all the women in the world ought to patiently and passively listen to his worthless opinions on this shittier-than-Dr. Phil public forum (what I would consider the verbal equivalent of a Mexican ‘donkey’ show), until some woman could otherwise earn his respect by convincing him out of his unjustified verbal lashing towards a sport he seemed to have little-to-no knowledge about.
So while he got jacked-up on testosterone, in his sweat pants, beating off to his Nickelback CD that he must listen to on commercial breaks, I tuned out, and tuned in to an old Blind Melon Mix CD… and thank god for that.
So… here I am to repay the favor.