Archive for the Everyday Category

Once upon a time.. a Pink Leopard Slipped into a Dark, Wet Cave

Posted in Culture, Everyday, Random with tags , , , , , on March 2, 2010 by attemptedmustache

Is ‘she’ a man, woman? Does she really put grills on cats? Did she crawl up the rabbit hole and out of Wonderland?

Just when you thought Lady GaGa couldn’t get any more eccentric, illusive and quirky, guess what?! She Can.
You wanna talk trailblazing… Lady GaGa seems to me like a freight train headed straight for uncharted territory half the time, and that’s why I think she’s nifty.  Whether it is her avante-garde fashion, business savvy brain, androgynous appeal, or the manner in which she appears to be able to wield her fame and the music industry like some flame throwing bouncer at a gay bar, I just really think she’s got it going on.

In that sense it seems appropriate that not only does Lady GaGa have it going on, but she’s also trying to get us to PUT IT ON!  And I don’t mean our bras, hair extensions or gold chains; I’m talking condoms.

Yep, those rubbery plastic domes that have been the mortal nemesis of men and women alike for decades are taking a turn for the fancy thanks to GaGa; and if you’re looking to make a fashion statement in the sack, this might be your chance to bare it and wear it.

Need more info?
Lady GaGa and Jeremy Scott have designed a brand of Proper Attire condoms that seem to please the eye, and likely any man banging Paris Hilton as they certainly would blend in with just about every outfit she owns.
But, whether your a trendsetter, fashionista, diva or useless socialite, really anyone who has ever played dirty russian roulette in their own individual versions of  the sexual special olympics ought to buy a few of these… or 100.

Proceeds go to Planned Parenthood, which I think is fantastic, but like any controversial or taboo undertaking, it is probably chalked full of criticism and scrutiny from all angles. Good luck GaGa!
Either way, I think the thought is in the right place here, and I’m sure Custodial Engineers and Waste Collectors abroad will at least appreciate having something a little nicer to look at in the morning… maybe?….

Why Vomit Can Ruin a Moustache!

Posted in Everyday with tags , on January 21, 2008 by attemptedmustache

It just can.

I spent some fine hours this weekend NOT ONLY perplexed by 50 Cent’s presence at the Sundance Film Festival (WTF?!), but I also got to enjoy a full day’s worth of pewking my guts out. Fantastic times!

On the other hand, I just Googled ‘vomit’ and this is what the world brought me:

Vomit: Finnish urban legend says that there lives (or lived) a creature named Vomit in Middle-Finland. He had vomited himself into this universe, but is also known as “Strangler” and “Urakoitsija” (which means worker in finnish). The tale says he had taken the body of drunken bum in order to get close to his victims. He has insane obsession to drinking (mostly beer and jagermeister), smoking and repairing various things. He’s formerly a sailor. He’s known for “The boiler room effect”. He lures innocent children to his boiler room and commits his mysterious fetishes onto them; he is always in drunken haze.

Is it just me or did a totally drunken sailor write THIS little masterful working of the English Language?
Either way, this little passage of lunacy almost makes up for my transformation into a multicolored, organic fountain this weekend!
So everyone please raise your glass!
Here is to Vomit, the strange, drunken Finnish creature….

And for your viewing pleasure:

(I warn the faint of heart, the picture below should not be viewed by pregnant women, those prone to heart problems, indigestion, or any person with a fear of disgusting things. This creature is a perversion of nature, please brace yourself.)

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Finnish Spitz