Britney Spears Wants to Steal Your Child

The latest in the unraveling saga that is Britney Spears’ life ought to strike fear in the heart of every parent living in the general Los Angeles area.
According to the paparazzo Brit-Brit was spotted cruising around a Beverly Hills Elementary School, smoking and talking like a crazy British person. (Not shocking?).

Despite claiming that she was there to pick up her lawyer’s children, it seems clear to me that she was purely trolling around for lost kids to steal.

Since it seems like her days of blasting out babies like she’s the human equivalent of a canon in the battle of Normandy have ceased (albeit, probably temporarily), Brit must be looking to update her already insane hillbilly status to ‘insane hillbilly child kidnapper’.
Or at least it seems that way.
Now, all this is very hard for me to admit, being the die-hard Britney fan that I am…
But perhaps she DIDN’T go to the school looking for kids to steal, perhaps her mind has become so very deranged that she thought she was lost in some magical fairy land, and all the kids were giant Starbucks frappuccinos and king-size Marlboro cigarrettes… Totally plausible.

I just hope some one reels the girl in before she does any more damage to herself, or any one in her path.

Now… let’s take a moment to remember the good old days:


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