Archive for January, 2008

Britney Took My Advice, Went to Mental Town

Posted in Britney Spears, Current Events, Music with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2008 by attemptedmustache

In probably the sanest move we’ve seen from Britney Spears in a LONG time, the pop tartlet checked herself into UCLA for mental evaluation early this morning.

According to The Superficial:

“Britney went willingly. It was like something in her heart was telling her she should go. She knew something was wrong,” confidant Sam Lutfi tells PEOPLE.

However Sam Lutfi may no longer be speaking for Britney. TMZ is reporting that Britney’s parents are taking control of the situation and are working with a judge to get control of Britney:
(wow, we all know she’s in REALLY good hands when Lynn Spears is on the job!)

We’re told Britney’s mother, father and brother have been “working closely with the LAPD for weeks” to get her back in for psychiatric care. There is now a dogfight between Britney’s family and Sam Lutfi over who will make medical decisions, however, that fight is now put on hold because the judge now makes the call.”

I’m really glad to see that Britney (aka: Kevin Federline’s former meal ticket) is FINALLY taking the initiative to get better, unless this is some sort of publicity stunt, which in that case, I’m very disappointed. The poor girl is more highly criticized in America than Osama Bin Laden. In her 26 years on the planet she’s had unfathomable success as a pop star, 2 kids, had those kids taken away from her, seen the rise and fall of her singing career, a divorce, an annulment, and she seems to be going through some sort of pseudo mid-life crisis/mental break down right smack-dab in the center of the public spotlight… while she’s simultaneously being exploited by the media elite, no less.

I honestly think that staying in some sort of private care institution would be the most normal thing she could do for herself right now. But I don’t really know shit, by Britney standards. I doubt any one could really say with any certainty what the girl really needs. (a hug)

Get that New Shit off the Block!!

Posted in Current Events, Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2008 by attemptedmustache

I guess it’s time to dust off the old Joey McIntyre Doll, and put it up on the shelf again, cuz the NKOTB are set for a reunion! Yep, this is the stuff dreams are made off (insert visions of candy corn and sugar plum fairies here).
The main tip-off: the official boyband website is up and running. After years and years of being in nowheresville, the site has finally been rejuvenated; and it’s even playing some PHAT beats!

Truthfully, since 1994, when the band split, we ALL knew it was just a matter of time before they came hiphop jiving their way back onto our TV screens, and right back into our hearts.

The band formed in 1984, and was the originale of the bubble gum, boy-pop era. NKOTB was made up of brothers Jordan and Jonathan Knight, Joey McIntyre, Danny Wood, and Donnie Wahlberg (yep, the brother of the Invisible guy–better known as humungo-penis star Dirk Diggler, aka: Marky Mark Wahlberg).

So despite one of the New Kids having a brother with a huge, fake penis, most of them have really fallen under the radar for the last few years. Jordan, and my personal favorite, Joey, tried their shot at solo careers, and in doing so, made Nick Carter look like a mother f$&#ing hero! (That’s bad!). Jordan also made a huge ass of himself on the brilliant reality TV show for washed up celebrities called The Surreal Life.

Donnie, the one with the REAL career, has remodeled himself as a talented, rising actor, with roles in The Sixth Sense, Ransom, Saw, and many many more.

However, before all you girls (and boys) go out and get your bikini waxes and 10 crates of your choice New Kid’s fav food, the reunion may only be the on-and-off-again rumor that has been plaguing the airwaves since the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards. In fact, according to TMZ, only three members are confirmed to be taking part in the reunion so far (Jordan, Joey and Donnie). Does it matter that they’re the three BEST members of the NKOTB??
Sure it does!! At least for Donnie Wahlberg anyway, cuz as the NKOTB’s fallen star continues to rise again, I’m pretty sure we can all predict that Donnie’s run as a respected screen actor has officially come to a crushing halt:

Beijing Olympics-‘Don’t Rain on MY Parade!”

Posted in World with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2008 by attemptedmustache

SAY WHAT?!! Rain prohibited at the Olympics?!
Wow! What will they ban next?!! Performance Enhancing Drugs? hahahah, that’d be a first.

Yeah, so I guess the Olympic Committee decided after all not to pass on my proposal to build a giant force-field around the city of Beijing. Too costly? Doesn’t bind the galaxy and all living things together enough? Doesn’t give a Jedi his powers?! hmph… playing hard to get, I see, I see.
Well, who am I to tell them that they’re wrong? I mean, the field of power only serves those who are worthy, and how should they know how I’ve totally mastered the keen art of the ’10 second rule’: aka: magical forcefield I create to protect food for 10 seconds when dropped on the ground, garbage, dirt…you name it! No siree.
I know what you’re thinking, and I think it too: those guys are JERKS!
The Force is such a burden.

Anyways, according to the Los Angeles Times the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing have officially become the guinea pig for human ‘weather modification’; i.e., meteorologist tested ‘rain mitigation’.
(aka: man conquering over nature–which we’ve learned so MANY times in the past works like a damn charm).

“Cloud-seeding is a relatively well-known practice that involves shooting various substances into clouds, such as silver iodide, salts and dry ice, that bring on the formation of larger raindrops, triggering a downpour. But Chinese scientists believe they have perfected a technique that reduces the size of the raindrops, delaying the rain until the clouds move on. The weather modification would be used only on a small area, opening what would be in effect a meteorological umbrella over the 91,000-seat Olympic stadium. The $400-million stadium, nicknamed the “bird’s nest” for its interlacing steel beams, has no roof.”

What will they think of next?! Ways to create acid rain over the cities of the countries we hate? Snow storms on days we just REALLY don’t feel like going to work? Lightning bolt shocks as punishment for petty crimes? A REAL pot of gold at the end of every rainbow? (Follow the Yellow Brick Road, Follow the Yellow Brick Road)

Well that’d be real nice wouldn’t it? But I’ve just got one thing to say to all of you:

“USE THE FORCE, LUKE!”

Sing it Barbara:

Why does the British Royal Family Live So Long? Inbreeding, of course!

Posted in Culture, World with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 30, 2008 by attemptedmustache

Wow… so I guess if you think your cousin is hot, this is REALLY good news for you!

We humans have searched every part of the globe looking for that one true ‘fountain of youth’, the ‘holy grail’ that promotes eternal life, the eye cream made out of dolphin uterus’ that just won’t let us die. Like Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade, or Posh Spice from outer space (that’s not really fair, everyone knows Posh Spice is an earthly mutant–Long Live Scientology!) longevity seems better than any prize, it means outliving our worst enemies; whether that be the Nazis or Paris Hilton, that’s totally up to you.

But surprise surprise, little did we know, the ticket to eternal youth was right within our reach all along; maybe even in our own HOME!!

What is it?!

Our gene pool, of course!

Yep, start throwing away those prophylactics and start getting cozy with your hot cousin, cuz according to ‘New Scientist’, Giuseppe Passarino of the University of Calabria in Rende Italy says incest is AWESOME!
I mean, leave it to the Italians to think up a way to regularize totally unconventional sexual behaviors, they’ve got a LONG history that needs representing. REPRESENT!
And I guess if you’re living in the southern United States or a Mormon polygamist compound, you better start saying a prayer in thanks to these witty wop geniuses.
-Wow, this has officially become my most politically incorrect blog post yet!

Details:

Giuseppe Passarino stated: “Everyone knows inbreeding is bad – it increases your chances of catching a range of diseases. But on the other hand our study suggests if inbreds don’t get those diseases when they’re young they might have a better chance of long life.” HEZZAH to the human zygote!!


“Passarino and his colleagues used census data to identify a geographically isolated region of southern Italy with more than its fair share of male nonagerians (People in their 90s). When the team looked at the local phone book, they found many people in the region shared the same surname, suggesting marriage between related individuals was common.”

For more details: CLICK!

So there it is, the secret to why the British Royal Family, rich aristocrats and the Osmonds live annoyingly long lives… generations and generations of inbreeding. ‘Blue Blood‘–>Incest


I’ve got one question though, has anyone ever done a study on what inbreeding does to your teeth?

What’s YOUR Favorite Band!

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 30, 2008 by attemptedmustache

The annual American Shortlist Prize TOP TEN finalists have been announced:
1)Arcade Fire
2)Burial
3)Feist
4)Justice
5)LCD Soundsystem
6)M.I.A.
7)Spoon
8)Stars
9)Wilco
10)Working for a Nuclear Free City

-For those that aren’t familiar with The Shortlist, this is pretty much the US version of the British Mercury Prize : the “annual award for the best album of the year from within the United Kingdom or the Republic of Ireland”.”

Though it’s hard for me to pick which of the bands I’D want to win the MOST.   I think my longterm alliances lie pretty firmly with LCD Soundsystem, Wilco and Arcade Fire. But there are so many others I think deserve it as well, and even more in the LONG LIST!!
Check it out! And let me know what YOUR pick for the win is!!

Here are the highlights from the Long List:

 
A Fine Frenzy One Cell in the Sea Hunnypot  
Against Me! New Wave Rev. Moose  
Animal Collective Strawberry Jam Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Arcade Fire Neon Bible Chris Douridas  
Bad Religion New Maps of Hell Ronnie of the Killers  
Biffy Clyro Puzzle Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Blonde Redhead 23 Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
brakesbrakesbrakes The Beatific Visions Hunnypot  
Burial Untrue Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Calvin Harris I Created Disco Hunnypot  
Dead Heart Bloom Chelsea Diaries Rev. Moose  
Digitalism Idealism Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Dollyrots Because I’m Awesome Hunnypot  
Eddie Vedder Into the Wild Soundtrack Ronnie of the Killers  
Feist The Reminder Chris Douridas  
Fionn Regan The End of History Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Future of the Left Curses Hunnypot  
Gogol Bordello Super Taranta Rev. Moose  
Grinderman Grinderman Hunnypot  
Gui Boratto Chromaphobia Chris Douridas  
Iron & Wine The Shepherd’s Dog Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Jesca Hoop Kismet Chris Douridas  
Josh Ritter The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Juliette and the Licks Four on the Floor Rev. Moose  
Justice Cross Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Keren Ann Keren Ann Chris Douridas  
Kings of Leon Because of the Times Hunnypot  
Klaxons Myths of the Near Future Hunnypot  
LCD Soundsystem Sound of Silver Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Le Loup The Throne of the Third Heaven Rev. Moose  
Les Savy Fav Let’s Stay Friends Ronnie of the Killers  
M.I.A. Kala Hunnypot  
Maps We Can Create Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
O’Death Head Home Rev. Moose  
Of Montreal Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? Rev. Moose  
Parts and Labor Mapmaker Rev. Moose  
Peter Bjorn and John Writer’s Block Rev. Moose  
PJ Harvey White Chalk Ronnie of the Killers  
Puscifer V is for Vagina Ronnie of the Killers  
Robert Francis One by One Chris Douridas  
Robert Pollard Standard Gargoyle Decisions Ronnie of the Killers  
Scout Niblett This Fool Can Die Now Ronnie of the Killers  
Serj Tankian Elect the Dead Ronnie of the Killers  
Spoon Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Stars In Our Bedroom After the War Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Swizz Beatz One Man Band Man Hunnypot  
The Bird and the Bee The Bird and the Bee Ronnie of the Killers  
The Hives Black and White Album Ronnie of the Killers  
The Thrills Teenager Ronnie of the Killers  
Underworld Oblivion With Bells Hunnypot  
Wheat Everyday I Said a Prayer Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol  
Wilco Sky Blue Sky Chris Douridas  
Working for a Nuclear Free City Businessmen and Ghosts Hunnypot  

Attack of the Biblots! Part Two

Posted in Culture with tags , , , , , , on January 30, 2008 by attemptedmustache

As some of you might recall, I wrote a post a couple days ago regarding Christian terrorist Shirley Phelps-Roper and the Westboro Baptist Church. While I was surfing the net today I found a surprising interview between Shirley and a wellknown YouTube enthusiast ‘TheAmazingAtheist’. And just like his name suggests, TheAmazingAtheist likely subscribes to the same sort of deductions about all things Religion as Cartman does in this photograph:


While I’m tempted to agree with Shirley in that I’m not sure what is so ‘amazing’ about this guy, I actually really appreciated this interview.
The ‘Amazing Atheist’ really brings up what I believe is a fundamental point about Christianity, that being: ‘Who ARE the ‘True’ Christians?’

According to the Amazing Atheist, if all Christians were to undergo a stringent, thorough, active reading of the Bible, they would likely adhere to the same belief-set that Shirley Phelps-Roper so adamantly, and often inexcusably projects to the American Public.

I don’t know enough about the Bible or Christianity to really say that I agree with anything that is said in this interview, but I think that it is an interesting spin on all the hype surrounding the members of the Westboro Baptist Church, and their spokesperson, Shirley Phelps-Roper. I also really appreciate how he actually gives the woman a chance to speak. Surprisingly, she actually makes a lot of solid points that could likely leave the most devoted Christian speechless.
Do I agree with what she says or the way she conducts herself? NO!! Absolutely not! I think she gives all good Christians, and good people the world round a bad name.

However, I am posting this video, as I think it sheds a lot more light on why these people are so forceful about their crusade against homosexuals, ‘wrong-thinking’ Christians, and the general American Public.

Lastly, omit the lame opening montage part of this video, it’s embarrassing, and when the interview concludes and the AmazingAtheist (aka: douchebag) begins his own rant, it is best to close the window at that point as well. He drops the f-bomb about 20 times (totally brilliant…not!), and not only makes himself look like a complete and utter fool, but totally discredits himself by acting so ignorantly. Up until “Final Thoughts”, it’s all good.

View with an open mind:

Should their be Etiquette to the Internet?

Posted in Culture, Media with tags , , , , , , , , on January 29, 2008 by attemptedmustache

How many times have you heard some one mention how Facebook is ruining our lives?
I’ve heard it plenty, and I’m telling you, I disagree… but I am definitely weary of the internet on some general level.
Not only have I noticed that my attention span seems shorter, but I’ve also noticed how communicating through the internet has certainly caused some significant problems in some of my real-life relationships.

Maybe its the way the medium DOES allow us all to act on impulse; maybe it has something to do with the way we can so easily misinterpret the message we are receiving, or conceal the message we’re ACTUALLY sending… whatever the cause, there is definitely a problem.

Have any of you ever gotten into a petty fight with a significant other, or a close friend, and as a punishment, childishly deleted them on Facebook, or MSN Messenger, or Gtalk? I know I have…hah… it’s one of those things you regret instantly…then what follows is that familiar, sick, cramping feeling that enters into your stomach, then all your limbs, and you curse yourself until the moment the stupid action is resolved.

Have any of you ever been more inclined to deal with serious problems through internet communication than face-to-face interaction? I certainly have… and I know it’s definitely caused it’s share of problems as well. There are definitely some people that will become seriously offended when you use email, or instant messaging to blanket statements or mediate between yourself and others.

So here is my predicament: The internet seems to allow us to act in certain ways, say certain things we might not normally say, sarcastically take a stab at people that annoy us while including a 🙂 that somehow makes that okay; we can delete our friends, delete the messages they post on our wall, we can casually not respond to emails, we can forward incriminating photos of our friends or post them on Facebook… the list of indiscretions goes on and on.
Now I don’t think the Internet is an evil by any means, but I think the way that we use it can definitely contribute to the implications of others that suggest that it IS a serious evil in the world.
Sometimes I wish that there wasn’t this different set of prescribed rules to the Internet that allowed us to interact with each other in such a casual, terse, inattentive, sometimes hurtful way. I wish that I wasn’t guilty of this myself.

Perhaps the way we use the internet needs to be reconsidered, perhaps there needs to be more of a human type of etiquette to internet communication… but would that take away all the unique pleasure that the internet presently affords us?
I couldn’t tell you… all I know is that the amount of time I spend every day staring into computer screens, televisions screens, phone screens, door screens, etc, really might indicate that either I need to get out more, or that these sorts of things are entirely taking over my life.

To be continued…